Don’t hate me, but this STILL isn’t the post about my trip to Israel. I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever be able to finish writing it. One of these days, I’m just gonna chain myself to my couch and write it. Or I’ll get completely distracted by something sparkly and ignore for another month. Which one are you betting on?!

When I was in Israel, one of my (I’m claiming them all!) solders Michael, read us this newspaper article from Yair Lapid, an Israeli journalist, and it really struck a cord with me. It’s called “אנחנו שנינו”, which means “We’re Both”. Even if you’re not Jewish, read it and let me know what you think.

“We’re Both”/ Yair Lapid, “yediot aharonot”, 14.1.11

We are both.
Both good and bad. Both love this country and angry at it. Both think that
we can’t continue on this way, and both know we have no choice.
We’re both.
We want to be just, because the world is watching, and we appear terrible,
and also want them to know that they shouldn’t mess with us because we
don’t have any limits and that for each of ours well take down three of theirs
– at least.
We want our child to be a combat warrior and also want him to serve in the
army intelligence – at least he’ll get something out of it. We want the IDF to
be the strongest army in the middle-east and also want to slash the defence
budget, or at least not have the army men retire at the age of 45, because
social workers are also important and their salary is below the minimum
wage.
We both take half-our showers and also take the kineret water level
personally.
We both secretly despise the Israelis that left Israel and now sit in Miami
and watch our favourite comedy show and also say “you gotta see their crib
in Miami”.
We’re both.
Were nervous and bitch about everything and we also send blankets to
people we don’t know ‘cos their house burnt down. We have the worst
educational system in the west and we also invented the Disk-On-Key. We
watch cheap reality TV shows and also go to the theatre more than any other country, and read a lot as well.
Were both Jewish and democratic, although we don’t exactly know what
that means. We thank god that has made us his chosen people and also
remember that he disappeared exactly when we needed him the most.
We fell that rabbis are good people that devoted their lives to a moral cause,
and are also stunned by the load of racist bull-shit that comes out of their
mouths. We want this place to carry Jewish heritage and legacy, for else why
are we here and not in Brooklyn, and we also want the orthodox to join the
army and start working because in Brooklyn everybody’s working, and that
doesn’t make them less Jewish.
We both think that the settlers are the salt of the earth and also slat on our
wounds. Both respect their children for volunteering to be officers and also
worried what if they, all of a sudden, refuse to take our orders.
Because we’re both.
We believe that we have to help the Ethiopians fit-in and also think that it’s
best for them to stay in their own community. Both trust the Supreme Court
and prefer that it meddle a little less. We both dial 911 and get upset when
they don’t answer, but also know that for what we pay them- what do we
expect? We both think that there are too many lawyers here and that every
trial takes 10 years and also sew our neighbour’s grandmother for always
blocking our driveway, that ass-hole.
Because we’re both.
Were both terrified of the fact that Europe is becoming Islamised and
also say: “they deserve it, they should feel what it’s like”. We don’t want
America to tell us what to do and we also understand that without America…
actually we really don’t want to think what will happen without America.
Both loving this place to death, believing in it, believing in its future,
believing that this place has the most amazing people you can meet
anywhere on the planet and also feel that something very basic is falling
apart here, that everything is disintegrating, that we simply can’t go on this
way.
We’re both.
We recognize that life is complicated, and that in a complicated state like
Israel, the most dangerous people are those who aren’t both. Those that
know it all, those that don’t have second thoughts, those that are sure that
they know who’s right (and it’s usually them).
Bet we also know, deep in our hearts, that this “both way” world is slowly
disappearing, and that the day will come when we’ll have to decide who we
are.

*Please keep in mind that this is a literal translation from the Hebrew text, spelling errors are what the word is, not what it means!

So the Neti Pot… I’ve had my qualms about this for many reasons.

1. Eww, I don’t like things up my nose

2. It’s gonna feel gross coming out my nose

3…. Ok, so maybe it’s just those two reasons. But they were strong reasons.

However, my cold/sinuses/bubonic plague has just about kicked my ass and I had no other option. I went to CVS last night and bought one. It was on sale too! So I got home, read the direction (if I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna do it right), and mixed it up.

As I’m bent over my sink about to insert this penis shaped tea kettle into my nose, I had to laugh and thank god no one could see me doing this. Because of it’s shape, it doesn’t actually go IN your nose, it just sorta rests at the opening.

But I did it. I tipped my head, opened my mouth, and breathed out. After about 5 seconds, the feeling of diving underwater without plugging my nose went away and water (ya, we’ll go with that) started coming out the other nostril.

I don’t think I did it exactly right (laughing and giving commentary of it’s gross out factor didn’t help) but after switching sides and blowing my nose, it did feel better. The jury is still out on whether or not it worked until I can go home tonight and try it again.

And for those of you that want to know of a simple medical device could ever be interpreted as a blue penis, I leave you with these internet gems!

For extra knowledge of Neti Pots and how to use them, go here. They’re helpful, trust me!

So a lot has happened, but very little has changed since my last post. There has been 3 snow storms (2 resulting in no work!), I interviewed for a job at the place I’m still temping at, I met (via social media and phones) some very cool people I’ll be going to Israel with, I’ve gone on a few… interesting dates, and the last thing, the real kicker, the job I wanted… nope. Not gonna happen. So sorry. Please try your luck next time.

I found out yesterday that I didn’t get the job, and for the next few hours I was in a sort of daze. That was the only prospect on my horizon for a while. I feel like a deflated balloon now. Not knowing whether I want to stay in Boston and continue temping, praying that something I REALLY want to do magically appears covered in glitter and diamonds, or move to a new city and start fresh. The only problem with the latter option is no money, no job prospect, and no bloody idea where I would even move to. Ain’t my life just sugar drops and unicorns!

“And now for something completely different!”

Although, there is still one good thing I can look forward to. I’m bound for the Holy Land in T-minus 3 days!! I haven’t packed yet and it still doesn’t feel real. Maybe it I won’t feel it until I meet the 38 others or when we’re on the plane preparing for take off. I just hope it lives up to what I imagine the trip to be like. But either way it turn out, I’ll be checking off things on my life list that I would have had the opportunity to do otherwise.

And now, to leave on  an up note, a few of my favorite Monty Python videos.

 

So I counted, and today marks 12 day till little kids wake their parents up at the butt-crack of dawn and get high off presents. And in the spirit of that, along with smelling the gingerbread cookies sitting next to me (thanks Lucy!!), I give you your Dishy Guy Monday men.

If the phrase “male a cappella group” conjures up an image of students in blue blazers, ties, and khakis singing traditional college songs on ivied campuses… think again. Straight No Chaser (SNC) are neither strait-laced nor straight-faced, but neither are they vaudeville-style kitsch. As original member Randy Stine comments, “We take the music very seriously; we just don’t take ourselves too seriously.” In the process, they are reinventing the idea of a cappella on the modern pop landscape. -(www.sncmusic.com)

It doesn’t hurt that there are 10 of them so there’s a hot guy for every type!

 

Tyler

 

Seggie

 

Charlie

 

Dan

 

Dave

 

Jerome

 

Michael

 

Randy

 

Ryan

 

Walter

 

And if all that Dishyness STILL didn’t get you going (and going, and going!) then here. Listen for yourself!

 

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*All pictures are from their website. Drool!

Is it cold where you are? Well this Dishy Guy can melt your snow. If your lucky enough to have snow. Which I’m not. And that makes me jealous of you, which I don’t want to be since you’re taking the time to read this, unless you’re skipping this part just to the DG. But I don’t blame you. He’s hot!

Now some of you may know who this is. He plays sexy-bad-vamp-that-you-can’t-help-but-love, Damon Salvatore on Vampire Diaries. My sister loves him so this is for her and all the others out there. You know who you are. Don’t make me name you!

And now with out further ado, or much clothing ::TWISS:: I give you (without actually owning him) Ian Somerhalder…

They eyes, they smolder!

I can tie that for him…

Mmmm

Get it?!

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And, just because I can!!

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You’re welcome!!

 

For those of you that don’t know, in 62 days I will be spending 2 weeks in Israel. And after those 2 weeks, I will have crossed 11 things off my Life List. I’m so excited to do those things, and even more excited that I’ll be able to experience them with my sister, in the land of our people. Well, half our people!

Birthright Israel is the reason Sarah and I, along with 38 other Jewish-American adults, will get to go to Israel in January. In their own words: “Taglit-Birthright Israel provides the gift of first time, peer group, educational trips to Israel for Jewish young adults ages 18 to 26. Taglit-Birthright Israel’s founders created this program to send thousands of young Jewish adults from all over the world to Israel as a gift in order to diminish the growing division between Israel and Jewish communities around the world; to strengthen the sense of solidarity among world Jewry; and to strengthen participants’ personal Jewish identity and connection to the Jewish people.”

Israel Outdoors is the organization in which we are experiencing our taste of Israel. I have to admit, the main reason I signed up to go at first was because it’s free trip to Israel. Who would pass that up if they had that chance?! But the more I learn and the videos and pictures I see from past alum’s, as well as hearing their own stories, are making me believe that I’m going to come out of this trip with a different view of myself and probably the culture that I have from my father.

You see, I’m not 100% Jewish. My mother is Protestant, giving us Christmas and Easter growing up, while my father is wholly Jewish, installing upon us Hanukkah and Passover.  So we really had the best of both worlds. *Chrismukkah was a great time in my household! We got the one big gift on the first night of Hanukkah, getting gelt the rest of the nights, while come Christmas morning… butt load of presents!

Going to Israel isn’t about presents, although I probably will be bringing back half a suitcase full from shopping, it’s about…. And that’s where my mind filters out. Because while I’m very excited about going, it hasn’t really sunken in. I don’t think I’ll fully understand the important impact this could be until we touch down in Tel Aviv.  So in the mean time, I guess I’m just going to have to distract myself with finding a job (still!) and making a spreadsheet on what to bring.

What?

Don’t judge me.

Spreadsheets are Amazballs!!

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*While we always celebrated what Chrismukkah is, my sister and I weren’t introduced to the word until Seth Cohen on The O.C. How cute was he!

So I think I found my long-lost twin that was separated from birth. As I do almost every morning, I check worpress’s “fresh press” and today I found Lindsay’s. She’s a 20-something journalist writing about love and life, but her latest post makes me think she secretly has been spying for the past few months.

Kinda creepy, but in a good way. A way that makes me glad she could put the thoughts I didn’t know where floating around in my head into words that make me glad to know I’m not the only one who likes to wear heels (even if that means you have to walk slow to be with me) or doesn’t care who makes the final decision on where we go (as long as you actually make one!)

Her post, “Frankly, I do give a damn“, is about how she changes or alters parts of herself when she meets a guy and how she is now trying to keep her “over-the-top and completely ridiculous personality, regardless of what man walks into my life.” Lindsay ends her post with a list of things that are important to her in a relationship. Since lists and me are like fluff and nutella, I thought I’d give a try to one of my own. (Some I agree with Lindsay, that her words say it all!)

-Most of the time, I’m very happy, optimistic, bubbly, and full of energy. If you’re not like this, or if you don’t like this type of personality, then ta-ta.

-I like to wear heels. I’m only 5’3 so I can get away with this. This means that you will most likely have to walk at my pace.

-As much as I can go with the flow and all that jazz, I like to plan things out and know whats going to happen. If this means you have to put a little forethought into the day, then so be it.

-Coffee (tea for me) and beers, while nice, does not make a date.

-I will always wear perfume and lip gloss. When you kiss me or hug me, it may get on you. I don’t think that’s a bad trade for getting to touch my body or my lips. If you do, move on.

-I’m in Communications. This means I like questions and I like talking. If you feel interrogated, maybe you should have a stronger back bone.

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And the main reason why I feel like Lindsay and I were separated at birth is that I can relate to this:

“-Yes, my last name is Tigar. You don’t need to growl at me or sing “Eye of the Tiger” to me. It’s okay.”

-Just because I happen to share the first name with Ozzy Osborne’s  wife does NOT mean you need to yell it at me the way he does. I’ve heard it before. It’s old now. Please stop.

I hope this helps others out there. And for the one I want it to help… PLEASE, for the love of baby Jesus, man up and do something about it!!

So I was out sick yesterday, and no one wants a drugged up version of a hot guy, so I waited til today to put this up.

This week’s Dishy Guy is a little bit geek sheek. Andrew Lee Potts is a British born actor who stars in BBCs’ Primeval and SyFys’ mini series Alice. He makes one of the perks of owning a tea shop hot!

And just for a bit of pre-Halloween gore…

 

Yesterday was October 18. Which means in 6 short months I will turn 25. I’m not scared of turning 25. Truly I’m not. I’ll be scared of 26, which is the age my mom had me, her youngest of 3 children, but that’s a story for another time.

What I am scared of is that my life is not how I imagined it to be at this age. No I didn’t think I would be married with a kid on that way, not even touching that with a 10 foot pole.

What I did expect was to be in a job that I loved and took pride in. Now don’t get me wrong. I like temping and the company I’m at now is really cool. I don’t see a permanent job in the Marketing department opening anytime soon, so that leads me to start looking for a PR job elsewhere. I’ll be sad to leave the people here, but I need a job that I’m using the skills I worked my ass off to get in college.

Which leads me into the depressing cycle of internet job hunting. Monster, Indeed, Craigslist, and the likes are killing me. Just when I think I’ve found a great PR job (some I’m over qualified for) and send in my info… Nada. Either no response at all, or the generic, thanks for applying/you suck/ but we’ll keep you on file for the future.

I’m trying to not be that picky, it’s still early on in my career to tinker around looking. I’m not expecting the be all end all of jobs will just fall into place, it would be nice, but I’m not expecting it. So I guess what I’m really saying is that if you know of a job, or want to give me one, then let me know! Or you could always give me some encouraging words as I search around for one while the internet not so silently mocks me and tries to distract me with photobombs and LOL catz… Sometimes I think I need help!

After the weekend I had, I need some dishy guy to get me through the work day and this DG does NOT leave you wanting!

His name is Jonathon Caillat and he is a Swiss model/actor. He has pretty blue eyes and the crazy fluffy hair that I love. And besides, anyone who can make wearing a top hat and being a hipster sexy, is good in my book.

Yum right?!